


Comforting Thoughts

by WanderingSummerBreeze



Category: Outlander (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-06
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-09-06 21:46:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8770567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WanderingSummerBreeze/pseuds/WanderingSummerBreeze
Summary: Ok. I need to put all the Comfort ones into one giant pile and slice into chapters. It's the eve of the Beauchamp/Fraser wedding. Read Comfort & Comfort Revisited first.





	

 

I felt the weight of the gold band on my finger the more I imagined what was to come. I had signed the marriage contract only an hour before, Ned Gowen smiling as I did. Dougal, I noticed, had never let his eyes waver from me as I signed. His face stone, much like the man himself.

I was to marry Jamie tomorrow.

I sat outside our dwellings for the evening, the chill raising gooseflesh over my body. I welcomed the feel of anything other than the bile that occasionally threatened to rise in my throat at the very thought of what I was doing.

A flicker of light caught my eye and I turned to see Jamie bidding the horses a good night as he made his way back to the small house, his footfalls squishing the mud beneath his heavy weight. I remained still, hoping to go un-noticed. The day’s trials not yet retreated to the back of my brain, I absently rubbed my stomach where I had been punched by Black Jack earlier. The added kick, only moments later, did nothing to intensify the pain, just called it forth to the forefront of my brain.

I am a strong woman. But that punch did more to my psyche than my body. I thought, perhaps, he and I had gained ground. That Black Jack Randall, the man that so closely resembled my husband in features, yet not in character, had shown me his other side. That he wasn’t perhaps the man I had thought him to be and he did, in fact, regret the pain he had caused so many. Including Jamie.

Jamie. My soon-to-be husband.

I sighed louder than intended and the squishing of the mud stopped. I looked over to see Jamie watching me. His concerned face, highlighted by the flame through the window, looked tormented as the flicker danced across his features.

“Are you all right, lass?”

I nodded. Words failed me. Something, I will admit, that did not happen often.

He coughed under his breath a little, his head swinging between myself and the door, then back to me, “I saw ya there. I only thought maybe you wanted to be left to your thoughts,” he stepped forward a foot or two, “nay wanting company and all.”

I took a deep breath, my mouth opened, but nothing came out, so I closed it once more and looked straight ahead.

Jamie waited, patiently, for me to say something. The silence between us was heavy, but not entirely uncomfortable. He was, after all, the only person, save perhaps Geillis, that I had been able to open up to. Far more than I should have, as the sound of my cry of completion echoed through my skull.  I needed a distraction from the path my mind was about to wander down, but wasn’t certain where any other road might take me.

Jamie’s hand folded in front of himself. He nodded in acceptance of my silence and made to leave.

“Will you sit with me?” I asked suddenly. I turned my eyes to him and watched a smile cross his face. It was bright and glorious and full of youth and uncertainty, but he let it drop, nodding once again, and the smile fell into his customary grin. Not as bright, but equally as youthful and full of thought.

Jamie unclasped the plaid from his shoulder and settled down next to me against the wall. It was a cool night. The day’s sunshine and clear skies had segued into the most darkest of nights, save the millions of stars above. I rubbed my hands together as if trying to start a spark with my skin to warm me up. Jamie took my hands in his and gently leaned into them, blowing hot air, before rubbing them himself.

“Are you sure you dinna want to be inside by the fire?”

My head turned to the window above, the glass shaking as a table-top must have been toppled over in some drunken game. Jamie’s eyes followed mine and he laughed.

I did as well. But it wasn’t an ordinary laugh. Not one like the telling of a joke, or watching someone slip on a banana peel. It was a laugh that took me over. Shook me to the core. It wasn’t that he had said anything particularly funny or that the drunken highlanders’ antics inside amused me to some great deal - it was everything. The whole ridiculousness of the circumstances I had found myself in.

I laughed in a stupid sort of way that beckoned Jamie to join in. Which he did until my infectious laughter turned into little sobs.

Jamie dropped my hands and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. I brushed it off, pulling out of his grasp, and shook my head.

“I’m fine. Really. I’m fine.”

He sat back, offended, I think. Or no – wounded, he was – by my actions.

I sighed inwardly, taking responsibility for his cut as he turned his head from me.

“I’m sorry, Jamie. It’s just…” trying to pull the words from the air “a bit sudden.”

He turned his attention back to me, one side of his lips curving into a smile, “Aye. It is. But I promise ya, Claire,” he beseeched me to look into his eyes then, “I will do everything within my power to make sure you’re safe. And happy.”

I nodded.

Looking forward, we sat in silence once more. The sky was on fire with shooting stars and twinkling lights, like a siren’s song enticing you to follow it into the deep, drowning in its darkness.

Jamie started to twitch, his hands playing with his boots. I turned to him, making it very clear that I knew he wanted to speak. His head didn’t move, but his eyes found mine before blushing and dropping once more. I watched his lips smile, like an old joke suddenly coming to mind. I couldn’t tell if the rose in his cheeks were the result of the chill or embarrassment.

He looked up once more, then down, contemplation taking over. “I know we dinna talk about it. But I was just wondering…”

He trailed off and I knew where he was headed. Down the path I had veered away from. He wanted to talk about our times together. I had only a vague recollection of the instances that were suddenly doing their best to penetrate my mind. But I could only see them through a fog, like slivers of a dream you try desperately to keep hold of in the morning but eventually are stolen by the light.

“What was it you were wondering Jamie?” I couldn’t look at him. I wasn’t certain exactly of what he was about to ask and I didn’t know if the answer I was going to give was the one he wanted. So me and my glass face tried to remain shielded by the night.

I had only found out of his virginity several hours beforehand. I was taken aback. Here was this beautiful, strong man with his commanding presence and nimble, gentle fingers that could play my body as a fined musician playing the harpsichord, and yet, no other woman had felt him grow inside her. No other woman had scorched her flesh on his as he pulsated deep within her, his seed flooding the very depths of her body.

I and I alone had felt him harden beneath my fingers, the cloth of his kilt causing the most delicious friction upon his member. I distinctly recall being awed at his size, only knowing it through touch. And even then, not directly so. The thought suddenly coming to mind that I would no longer wonder whether what I felt was real. I would know. I would feel it. Tomorrow, my imagination on what he looked like, which had run away from me on more than one occasion since that night, would vanish and become real. I would know his true size when pushed into me, stretching me in places no one had before.

“Mistress Beauchamp.”

I turned to Jamie and could feel my face growing hot. I touched my cool fingers to my cheeks, assessing them, then dropped them in front of me with a lighthearted, embarrassed laugh I was hoping he could overlook.

“Sorry.”

“Were you maybe thinking of what I was goin’ to ask ye?”

“Well, my mind may have travelled a bit. But no, what was it you wanted to know?”

He took my hands in his, once more. The heat from his body causing flames to rise in me, its sparks fluttering across my body. I clenched my thighs together. _Damn him_ , I thought. How the hell does he do that?

“Did it feel good? The time that I…” he trailed off for a moment, “Because when you did what you did – to me, I mean, I canna get it out of my mind. It’s with me every moment.”

Suppressing my pride and reminding myself that Jamie, like any man being a virgin, would have felt the world give way at their feet had someone else been the hand that sent them flying off to Valhalla, I decided to give this one to him. To be honest.

I turned to face him, pulling one hand out if his grasp and cradling his cheek. “Yes Jamie. It felt good and was exactly what I needed in that moment.”

His face relaxed as if he was told he would not be punished for some sinister act.

“Of course,” I pulled my hand away, letting it rest in his palms once more, “I would have thought better of my actions that evening in the surgery had I known you had never been with a woman before.”

Jamie looked panicked, “No, Sassenach. Dinna ever feel regret over that. I had never felt such a…I dinna ken even what to call it,” he pulled me into his eyes once more, his face softening, “It made me verra happy. Still does when I’m left to myself.” I laughed genuinely, certain that he hadn’t meant to speak the last sentence aloud.

I wanted to take him suddenly. I wanted him to stay seated on the cold ground while I lifted my skirts, and shifting his kilt, sank down onto him. To finally rid ourselves of this ridiculous game. If it was comfort I sought, I wouldn’t find it in his embrace anymore. No longer content with roaming fingers and groans suppressed by threat of exposure. I needed him buried inside me. Desired the feel of a man, a man such as him, between my thighs, our heated flesh casting a glow around our bodies as we both gave into each other.  I could almost feel my bottocks rising off the ground, ever so slightly in imaginary movement with his cock. My fingers digging into his coat as his hands found their way to my backside, helping me with my movements and aiding them with a thrust of his hips. I could hear our bodies meeting in desperation with smacks and cries…

_Double damn him_

“It’s getting late, Sassenach. We’ve a big day tomorrow,” Jamie dropped my hands and stood, arm outstretched to me, “Come.”

My eyes flickered to his kilt, I could see a break in the pleats and knew he wished for it to be tomorrow already. That he was taking me to his bed and not just inside a house full of people.

I took his hand, allowing him to pull me upright as I brushed the grass from my skirt.

“We’ll fetch a drink.” he said and my mind sprang forward with a “Yes” far quicker than intended.

He smirked at my eagerness and I shied away a bit, “I mean, yes. I could certainly use one.”

 

 


End file.
